Dan finds new ways to be heinous, Blair & Chuck find "Lady Alexander", and Serena finds out that she's been out-slutted by her own mother. You'd think that on Gossip Girl the re-emergence of a sex tape would spice things up, but things continue to flatline on the Upper East Side.
"Portrait of a Lady Alexander"
Original Airdate: 11/05/2012
Eric texts from Sarah Lawrence (of course), and Ivy mentions Lily's "secret kid" Scott.
What Gossip Girl needs more than anything at this point is a defibrillator. I'm not sure what the problem is (changing showrunners? A cast that's ready to move on? Mediocre writers?), but there's no way for me to sugarcoat it anymore...this show is dullsville. I know a lot of viewers have felt this way for a couple of years now, but I've had high hopes that - given 10 episodes to end the series - they could knock it out of the park. But if the first 4 episodes are any indication, Gossip Girl may have finally run out of mojo.
Bart Bass was a character that no one asked to be brought back from the dead, and his bland villainy is only serving to drag Chuck down into the subplot doldrums. Does anyone really care what kind of illegal activity Bart has been up to? No. The answer is no. All this talk about trade embargoes with Sudan is giving me PTSD flashbacks to The Phantom Menace.
Serena is still convinced that Steven is the love of her life, which I'd be willing to accept if we had actually been privy to their courtship - as with nearly every other one of her relationships. Yet here and now, we're expected to just trust that Serena has made the right decision. Y'know, because making good choices is totally in Serena's wheelhouse.
Our characters simply feel adrift, and we're running out of time to raise the stakes and make any of their actions feel exciting. Then again, Cotillion is happening this week, so...perhaps?
After Eleanor gives Blair an ultimatum, Blair is even more determined to remedy Waldorf Designs' problems by making a splash with a dress at the upcoming Cotillion, but a shocking revelation at the ball affects everyone. Serena becomes worried about Steven's attitude toward her, but after some investigating she discovers the surprising reason why. Chuck finds an unlikely ally as he tries to drive a wedge between Bart and Lily's relationship to help expose his father's secret. Meanwhile, Dan publishes another article, but the effect is just the opposite of what he was hoping for.
"Monstrous Ball" airs November 12th at 9pm.