In an episode ultimately about family, this week's Gossip Girl proves that dysfunction and dependency are the real ties that bind. Blair and Serena form an icy alliance when they need favors from one another, both involving the big Waldorf Designs fashion show. Meanwhile, Dan continues to burn bridges when he has doubts about publishing his serial in The Spectator - and Sage is still a hellish spin-off waiting to happen.
"Dirty Rotten Scandals"
Original Airdate: 10/22/2012
Little J is firmly in the lead, with another mention this week.
She's in London, for some reason!
"Dirty Rotten Scandals" was definitely not was I was expecting. It started out with so much familiarity, which was mostly due to the number of recycled plotlines in play (a Waldorf Designs fashion show, Serena and Blair hate but need each other, tracking down a troublemaking young girl somewhere in the city). But then GG went and got all 'final season' on me.
Blair tells Serena, "You and I have known each other long enough that we are like family, which means that we have earned the right to hate each other from time to time." It's particularly brilliant, because this is pretty much where most of the interpersonal relationships on this show have landed. Blair hates Serena for hating her, Dan hates Blair for rejecting him, Serena hates Dan for rejecting her, Chuck hates Dan for his relationship with Blair, Dan hates Rufus for his relationship with Ivy, and Nate hates Dan for taking his serial to Vanity Fair. This isn't so much a family that's crumbling than it is a family at all-out war.
- Georgina, Lily, and Bart are all absent this week. But we do get a Monkey sighting, as well as a return engagement of Nelly Yuki!
- What the hell happened to Chuck's hair? Do the hairstylists just no longer give a shit?
- Steven may be the stupidest adult ever to appear on this show, but I don't think it's fair to call him a "geriatric". Barry Watson is 38.
- Ivy spent the entire episode dressed like a low-rent Morticia Addams, and I want Anjelica Huston to come throw a drink on her.
- Do we think there's ANY chance that Rufus knows that he's being manipulated? He seemed oddly 'together' about everything this week.
- I loved Nate calling bullshit on Serena being a mentor to anyone.
- Blair's collection is kinda hideous. Florals? For real? And don't get me started on those boater hats.
- I literally cheered when Serena told off Dan with, "Suck it, Humphrey." We've been wanting to say that for years!
- Shouldn't people be more concerned that Sage is...well, insane? She stripped to her lingerie on a runway, fucked over two of her boyfriend's lady-besties, and clearly enjoyed it.
- Chuck Bass and florescent lighting DO NOT MIX.
- Gossip Girl quoted Tolstoy in voiceover. I've heard it all, and can now die happy.
Click to embiggen. You know you want to.
Next week, on Gossip Girl:
Chuck's continued investigation into his father's dealings leads him to an unlikely event with Manhattan's elite, where he hopes to find the one person who can tell him the truth about Bart. Serena and Steven decide to reveal their romantic histories so they aren't surprised by anything, but neither is prepared for what they uncover. With The Spectator in jeopardy after Dan decided to publish elsewhere, Nate must make a difficult decision to keep it in business. Meanwhile, Georgina pushes Dan to choose a worthy person to date to boost his image, but he finds himself drawn in a different direction.
"Portrait of a Lady Alexander" airs October 29th at 9pm.
Photocap posts on November 1st.