Thursday, June 28, 2012


The scheming continues on DALLAS, with damn near everyone plotting against each other over the fate of the ranch - and the billions of barrels of oil below it. Episodes 3 and 4 feature more classic villains, cow births and mental instability than you can wave a shotgun at!

Business as usual at Southfork means that not only does the crazy get more complicated, it also gets even more entertaining. The following screencaps are from the third and fourth episodes, "The Price You Pay" and "The Last Hurrah". If you missed the roundup from the first two episodes, you can find it here

First let's check in on Miss Anne Mary Alice and her guns, shall we?

Sadly, product placement is still a necessary evil - even in the house that Ted Turner built. Below are two back-to-back shots, with nothing edited out between them:

Don't worry, there are still lots of things to be happy about! For instance:

Oh, snap! The devious Cliff Barnes has returned to Dallas. Even if you didn't watch the original series, you can tell that he's a classic character because the actor is too old and far too ugly to be legitimately cast in 2012:

I know what you've been thinking. "They're on a ranch all the time on this show...why haven't we seen any livestock give birth?" Don't worry, the producers are listening:

Sue Ellen, while terrifying to look at, is actually one of my favorite characters on this show. She's a classy broad, but she's not gonna take shit from anybody. Having millions of dollars has that effect, I suppose. 

I will admit that John Ross is probably the only halfway convincingly interesting member of the next generation, mostly because he's not always blathering on about science like Christopher. And he still always has time to bathe for the audience:

Finally, they've kinda taken Marta directly to batshit crazytown, haven't they? You're not gonna find me complaining, that's for sure. Champers, Lithium, and one eye open? Where was this gal when Ringer was still on the air?


Will the truth of THE E-MAIL be revealed? Our gang of schemers is taking next week off in honor of Independence Day (this is Texas, after all), but check back on July 12th for more Dallas photocap action. The battle for Southfork is far from over, and I'd wager that the deed could change hands a few times before Summer's end!

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