Tuesday, April 10, 2012

GIRL-ON-GIRL CRIME


Two more episodes to go! For its penultimate episode, Ringer pulls out the stops and lets its freak flag fly. Nothing is too outrageous, implausible or extreme anymore - and that includes being trapped in a closet. 



We're treated to an instant replay of last week's final moments, with Catherine drugging Bridget at the penthouse. She shoves her into the tub and plans to drown her like a certain beloved and recently deceased pop icon, framing it as a suicide. Andrew comes home and realizes that Catherine's being more insane than usual, which leads to him saving Bridget just in time...just in time to get tied up and held hostage, that is. RogueMachado urges Torrance to send help to the penthouse immediately, but Catherine manages to outsmart everyone. It's only when Juliet gets home that there's distraction enough to use THE CELL PHONE to covertly call Vic and let him listen in on the situation. 

In the midst of her utter hysteria, Catherine calls the one person she can turn to. Her rock. Her girlfriend. Her lady lover. Still stumped? It's Alien Cher! Having been with this show for 20 episodes (21 after tonight), I can honestly say that there was no way anyone could have seen that coming. But I digress. It turns out that the night Andrew threw Catherine out of the penthouse for being a boozey bitchmonster, she showed up at Alien Cher's door. After what looked like several bottles of wine, they decide that sapphic sensuality is just what they need (and apparently what the show was desperately lacking). Catherine put Alien Cher up at her plot device's sister's rental property, which is where our criminal mastermind is now calling her with an update.

Back in the wildly untrustworthy world of Siobhan, she realizes that Henry will probably get the chair for Tyler's murder unless she takes matters into her own hands. Because that has worked every single other time, right? She heads over to the SohoDiamond Maid's residence (which is just Henry's brownstone with a LOT of tacky Eastern-European-inspired decor), and threatens her with a bunch of fake passports. Unless Oksana recants her testimony, Siobhan will make like Candyman and ruin her life forever. But without all the dismembering...I think. The plan goes horribly awry when Oksana's john - yep, she's a call girl now! - shows up for a sexy coke party for two, leaving Siobhan trapped in the closet to watch. Oksana goes skiing a little too hard and bites the big one, while Shiv is literally going into labor. She escapes after the john abandons his poor, dead hooker, and hauls ass to the nearest hospital. Henry gets a hilarious text from his lawyer while Siobhan's having the babies cut out of her, and he suspects that she may have had something to do with Oksana's death. After mother and twin daughters (Ringer: The Next Generation?!?!) are declared healthy, Henry demands a paternity test from the doctor. 

How does it end? Alien Cher lures Catherine and her hostage Bridget to the Saddle Rock compound - and the waiting guns of RogueMachado. Bridget can't bring herself to shoot Catherine when she has the chance (out of respect for Juliet), and Vic hauls her away. So everything's solved, right? Oh, wait! We still have the finale next week! 

And now, your second-to-last photocap!




























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This episode was definitely a showcase for Catherine, and Andrea Roth should get some kind of award for being a guest star who has somehow been featured in more episodes than some of the series regulars. Even with the left field lesbian stuff, I think this penultimate installment worked perfectly. So what happens next? We've still got Bodaway Macawi to deal with, as well as the unknown whereabouts of Malcolm and that whole "Bridget's been pretending to be Siobhan the whole time" matter. 

If this is how we resolved the hit on Siobhan's head, I can't wait to see how the central Bridget mystery unfolds! My heart breaks knowing that the season will be coming to an end next week, but I know one thing is for sure...we're going out with a bang. Figuratively, and maybe even literally!

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