Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Bridget searches for the mysteriously vanished Malcolm, Andrew and Olivia race to find Tyler's incriminating flash drive, Juliet finds herself in more scheme-related danger, and Siobhan finally levels with Henry. No, really!

We open on BY FAR the most laughable green screen to date, with Siobhan finally emerging from her hotel and wandering around "Paris". She thinks Tyler is on his way back from New York, but Henry politely informs her that yeah, he's a dead now. We get a chilling flashback that shows Siobhan's original confrontation re: Martin/Charles with Andrew, where he quite literally - seriously, there's no other way to interpret it - threatens to kill her. She hops a flight to Manhattan, shows up at Henry's door, and tries to be flirty. Nevermind that the guy she was banging was potentially just murdered by her husband. How about a roll in the hay first?

Henry's still not having it, though. He demands that she tell him everything, and for the first time in the history of the series...she actually does! The truth only leads to more crazy (obviously, it's Siobhan) when Shiv makes no bones about the fact that she deserves her own happiness, and that Bridget deserves to die for what she did to Sean. When you cut through all the lies and still find unbridled insanity, it's a testament to just how far the show is willing to take Shiv. She gets Henry on board, and they work together to speed up the "Andrew and Alien Cher Murder Bridget" plan. It involves her impersonating Bridget (impersonating Siobhan). The Ice Princess returns!

Agent Machado smugly confronts Macawi in Rock Springs, not realizing that his star witness Malcolm has predictably gone missing. This brings him back to New York (so many frequent flier miles!), where he actually manages to deduce on his own that Andrew was involved in the disappearance. It's not the most exciting story, but it doesn't slow things down, either. Hopefully Vic will just stay in New York for the rest of the season. He's wasting the bureau's money on airfare!

Juliet and Catherine are back from Canyon Ranch, and our favorite teenager meets a hot weirdo named "Cash Chilton" in the lobby of The Biltmore Plaza. He's got bloodied knuckles, an obnoxious tattoo, and an aggressive interest in getting her number. Since she still hasn't learned any lessons about trust, she gives it to him. Turns out he's the one that Catherine hired to beat the shit out of Tessa The Teenage Tormenter, and when Juliet puts the pieces together she freaks out and runs. She goes straight home to Bridget, who despite the manic, horrified look on her fake stepdaughter's face - is too busy to talk. She and Solomon have to get to the loft to find Malcolm!

How does it end? Andrew shows up at the rebuilt set of the loft to tell Bridget that he's not going to give up on them as a couple, despite all the death threats and other highly illegal activity. The text from Malcolm was bogus however, and Bridget assumes that Andrew is there to silence her...severely. Suddenly a masked man opens fire, and by the time Machado can lady-kick his way in, the shooter escapes and Andrew lays unconscious in Bridget's arms. He took the bullet for her!

And now, your photocap!



I love love loved this episode. Excellent pacing, suspense, actual thrills...it was as good as last week's was (unfortunately) incoherent. The audience finally gets a firm grasp on Siobhan's motivations, which was a mystery that definitely needed to be solved. While there are no doubt still surprises to come, Shiv finally feels like a complete character. A maniacal, insane character. And with only 5 episodes left, you know she's only going to go further off the deep end!

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