Thursday, November 22, 2012

GOSSIP GIRL 6x5: "Monstrous Ball"


Cotillion strikes again! As Sage prepares for her society debut, Serena discovers that Steven is planning to propose - which naturally sends everyone scheming to prevent the big moment. Blair attempts to capitalize on her provocative new reputation for her fashion line, after Dan gets in her head once again with a glowing chapter on Chuck for his serial. At last, the drama we've been waiting for!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

GLEE 4x6: "Glease"


Backstage drama threatens the opening of yet another McKinley High musical - but while Finn vows to keep Grease on course, Kitty shows her true colors in seeking vengeance against Marley. Rachel and Kurt return to Lima yet again to "support" their exes, and discover just how different their former home has become.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

GLEE 4x5: "The Role You Were Born To Play"


Artie convinces Finn to take a break from self-loathing and direct the school musical, but the auditions process is complicated by a harshly-opinionated Sue. Meanwhile, the Marley/Jake/Kitty triangle evolves into a square with the introduction of Ryder (The Glee Project's Blake Jenner), in the first installment to focus exclusively on the McKinley storylines. Sorry, Rachel!

Monday, November 12, 2012

GOSSIP GIRL 6x4: "Portrait of a Lady Alexander"


Dan finds new ways to be heinous, Blair & Chuck find "Lady Alexander", and Serena finds out that she's been out-slutted by her own mother. You'd think that on Gossip Girl the re-emergence of a sex tape would spice things up, but things continue to flatline on the Upper East Side.

Monday, October 29, 2012

MOCKINGBIRD LANE: A NICE PLACE TO VISIT


The Munsters reboot Mockingbird Lane was unleashed on Friday, with NBC airing the pilot (not brought to series) as a one-shot Halloween special. While the characters aren't quite how you remember them from the 60s series, what's definitely familiar is the tone and style of writer/executive producer Bryan Fuller.

Friday, October 26, 2012

WHOA, CANADA!


Brace yourself, world: Degrassi is celebrating its 300th episode tonight. Our neighbors to the North have been pushing the teen soap envelope for a couple of generations now, and there's no issue - no matter how outlandish or obscure - that they won't tackle. And as over the top as the stories may be, the iTunes episode synopses are even funnier.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

GOSSIP GIRL 6x3: "Dirty Rotten Scandals"


In an episode ultimately about family, this week's Gossip Girl proves that dysfunction and dependency are the real ties that bind. Blair and Serena form an icy alliance when they need favors from one another, both involving the big Waldorf Designs fashion show. Meanwhile, Dan continues to burn bridges when he has doubts about publishing his serial in The Spectator - and Sage is still a hellish spin-off waiting to happen.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

OUT OF THE WOODS


In a new feature here, I'm giving hated movies one more try. Were they actually good, or were my first instincts accurate? To kick off, we'll take a look at one of the most reviled sequels of all time: Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2. Worthless horror...or something more? You probably know the answer, but where's the fun in giving it away?

Monday, October 22, 2012

THE NEW PARANORMAL


The trailers promise us that "all of the activity has led to this" - and if you can keep from thinking about the myriad of questions raised by Paranormal Activity 4, you're definitely in for a good time. Plus: The inevitable announcement of a fifth installment, the future direction of the franchise, and...a Poltergeist-esque curse?!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

GOSSIP GIRL 6x2: "High Infidelity"


Blair and her burgeoning career as fashion mogul take center stage in preparation for a big interview with Women's Wear Daily, but she runs into trouble with not one but TWO familiar faces. Elsewhere on the island, Serena makes her big debut into adult society by hosting a gala for the Central Park Conservancy - but she may not be able to handle a bombshell about Steven & Sage. The good ship Gossip Girl is pretty much steering itself, gang.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

GOSSIP GIRL 6x1: "Gone Maybe Gone"


In its very last season premiere, Gossip Girl kicks off the end of an era with a drug overdose, a wedding, and a return to inappropriate sexual partnering. The more things change, the more they stay the same...which is both a blessing and curse on the Upper East Side. The sixth and final season is now underway!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

GLEE 4x4: "The Break-Up"


You might forget that Glee is technically a comedy, after Ryan Murphy delivers his most brutal and emotional episode yet. Finchel, Klaine, Brittana, and Wemma all reach an impasse...is the golden age of Glee romance over?

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

GLEE 4x3: "Makeover"


It's a more confident Blaine vs. Brittany in the battle for McKinley High's student body president on Glee - but the real makeover is on the New York storylines, which have finally gotten more interesting. Welcome aboard, Sarah Jessica Parker!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

GLEE 4x2: "Britney 2.0"


Glee's second Britney Spears tribute focuses more on the meltdowns than the music, as the New Directions attempt to save Brittany from self-destructing. In New York, Rachel struggles to prove that she's sexy enough to learn the tango. Seriously.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

GLEE 4x1: "The New Rachel"


It's a brave new world in Glee's fourth season premiere. Now split between McKinley High's New Directions and Rachel's NYADA life in New York, the series faces many new challenges - chief among them? Life after the graduation of many of its stars, and the fresh faces who would seek to replace them.

Monday, September 17, 2012

TWO PREQUELS, ONE STONE


The CW has set its sights on another iconic female character for the prequel machine, developing a script for a potential Wonder Woman series. Meanwhile, they're prepping to unleash Sex and the City's Carrie Bradshaw on the world once more with The Carrie Diaries. Why not just take two great tastes, and force them to taste great together?

Friday, August 17, 2012

FUTURE HISTORY


It's the mother of all Star Trek conventions, and it only happens but once a year - in Las Vegas. Nearly every living cast member from every series/movie is in attendance, and I'm proud to report that even though I was working...I had a damn good time. Enjoy some highlights!

Monday, July 9, 2012

MUSIC EXPRESS: 07.09.12


Before I head off to San Diego for Comic-Con, how about some Summertime music? While my DJs-in-blog-residence work on other exciting projects, I get to share some of my favorite new songs in a format that's short, sweet and sonically-pleasing. Here's four songs to get you going!

Friday, June 29, 2012

FRIDAY FAIL...IN SPAAACE!


Really, Disney?

Look, no one knows about loving terrible Disney animated films more than me. After all, some of my favorites include Robin Hood, Sword in the Stone, and The Aristocats. It's not that I hate the more modern movies, either - I own both Atlantis: The Lost Empire AND Home on the Range

I have to draw the line somewhere, though. And that line is right before Treasure Planet. The fact that they have the (space) balls to tout this 2002 disaster as "One of Disney's Greatest Adventures Ever" truly had me laughing like a maniac.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch Oliver & Company.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, June 28, 2012

MIND THE OIL, SLICK


The scheming continues on DALLAS, with damn near everyone plotting against each other over the fate of the ranch - and the billions of barrels of oil below it. Episodes 3 and 4 feature more classic villains, cow births and mental instability than you can wave a shotgun at!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

WHY AREN'T YOU WATCHING...NORA'S B-SIDES?


This edition of Why Aren't You Watching? honors the late, great writer/director Nora Ephron. You know what made her famous - now let's turn focus towards three of her lesser-known films: This is My Life, Mixed Nuts, and Hanging Up. B-Sides to most, they're still classics in their own right - and unmistakably Ephron.

Monday, June 25, 2012

THE GREAT STATE OF DALLAS


Summer is here, and with it comes the onslaught of off-season trash from the networks. Thankfully cable picks up the slack, and this year TNT brings us the continuing saga of the Ewings with DALLAS. It's back and (presumably) better than ever!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

BIRTHDAY BLAIR


HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY,
SELMA BLAIR!


Occasionally-sassy lady Selma Blair celebrated her 40th birthday over the weekend, and verifying this number was definitely the research equivalent of taking a bullet. I would have guessed maybe mid-thirties?

The very tasteful photo above is from Cruel Intentions of course, during her attempted seduction of Ryan Phillipe. Word, Selma.



Fun Fact:
Selma has a one-eyed dog! I saw them at a dog park once, and it was adorable. Maybe not as adorbs as hand-feeding him spaghetti, but it was cute.



Hope you had a fantastic b-day, Selma! Fingers crossed you didn't get your tonsils caught on a guy's dick piercing, like in The Sweetest Thing


Thursday, May 31, 2012

PRINCE SHOP DELUXE


Disney has chosen a Prince Phillip for Sleeping Beauty in the upcoming live-action Maleficent film, and Australian actor Brenton Thwaites will do just fine. Just fine, indeed.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

AN UNINSPIRED MELTDOWN


Oren Peli should maybe stop making movies.

It pains me to say this, being such a S-T-A-U-N-C-H supporter of the first two Paranormal Activity films (and everything up 'til the last 10 minutes of PA3) - but Chernobyl Diaries really did a number on me, gang. And not even in the way that would have meant it was doing its job



This movie took my heart - filled with love for setting horror movies in creepy, abandoned places - and beat it mercilessly with the most sporadically functioning Geiger counter on the face of the planet. I felt no goodwill towards any of the miserable idiots onscreen at any given time, which had the strange effect of making me immediately sympathize with the first "monster" I actually saw (it was a mutated little turtle person, and I actually giggled).


"You will rue the day you ever learned of SADOWSKI!"

Alleged actor Jonathan Sadowski acts as leader of the BroDouches, and I also had the pleasure of sitting one row in front of him and all of his real life BroDouches at the ArcLight in Hollywood. By the time his face was melting off from radiation, I felt like I had finally found something to cheer for in this movie. 


There's Brunette Britta from Community, and Fake Claire from LOST, and...hey!
Wait a minute!

I think one of the worst things a scary movie can do is dangle a really interesting idea in front of the audience for only a moment, without providing any payoff. Chernobyl Diaries does this in small ways throughout its running time, but by the end proceeds to throw a drink in your face, give you the double finger, and walk off with your money. I'm not going to spoil it, but suffice it say that the last 5 minutes were the most interested and engaged I felt in the entire film. And then it was over. There was one more chorus of "SADOWSKI!!!!" behind me, and the generic hard rock song started playing over the end credits.



So what have we learned, if anything? My takeaway is that Oren Peli - for whatever reason - has no concept of how to craft a satisfying ending to a movie. Final scene plot twists are fine when they make you want to go back and reexamine the movie all over again...but in this case I really wouldn't recommend that level of exposure. 

Thursday, May 17, 2012

SUCH SWEET SORROW


 Despite it being announced nearly a week ago, The CW's Upfront presentation today seals the deal: Ringer is dead. And now it's time to raise a toast, and say goodbye to network television's first soap noir-pra.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

STAY CLASSY


It's taken nearly 6 years, but my life is finally starting to parallel Gossip Girl. To those of you uninitiated in the ways of the Greatest Show of Our Time - fear not! You don't need to be a fan to understand this post.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

THE ULTIMATE DOUBLE CROSS


After a long and winding road, it all comes down to this! Bridget decides that the truth will set her free, but Bodaway Macawi & Tim Arbogast both have very different plans for her. Siobhan considers a move to Chicago with Henry - but she'll have to confront her own bad karma first. Who lives? Who dies? Who WINS? Find out with your Ringer season finale recap!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

GIRL-ON-GIRL CRIME


Two more episodes to go! For its penultimate episode, Ringer pulls out the stops and lets its freak flag fly. Nothing is too outrageous, implausible or extreme anymore - and that includes being trapped in a closet. 

Thursday, April 5, 2012

XANADU WHAT YOU WANNA DO



Just because it was responsible for killing the movie musical for a couple of decades, doesn't mean that Xanadu isn't a classic in its own right. Celebrate the ambition and over-extravagance of this occasionally lucid roller spectacular!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING


Three more episodes to go! Bridget gets accidentally roped in to Siobhan's plan to clear Henry's guilty name, while working with RogueMachado to determine who ordered the thwarted hit on her head. And if that weren't enough, Catherine tries to off herself as a way back into the family that hates her.

Monday, April 2, 2012

A PLUSH PERSPECTIVE


I firmly believe that if I had watched The Beanie Baby Hunger Games before the actual movie, I would have had a much more emotional viewing experience. I didn't connect too much to the characters on the big screen, but I'll be damned if the plight of Katniss Everbean the Blue Jay didn't stir something in me:




___________________________________

Not to mention: How adorable is it that Gale is the Robin? I mean, come on. The actual film was far too short on Junior Hemsworth, but blah blah blah I know that's just his role in the first book. I enjoyed it though, and I'll see the rest for sure.


Here's hoping we'll get additional, beanified installments!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

THE SECOND COMING


Miike Snow's masterful second album 'Happy to You' proves that great things come to those who wait. After 3 years, their sound has only matured - making every track grander and more purposeful than even the perfection of their first release.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

THE LAND BEFORE CRIME


Agent Machado takes extreme measures in tracking down the gunman, and has an even crazier idea to keep Bridget safe. Siobhan ponders forgiveness for 7 seconds thanks to Henry, and the first annual Martin Family Scheme-athon begins...thanks to favorable property values in Palm Springs.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

A VIEW TO A CON


Like its accompanying rain storm, WonderCon blew into Anaheim last weekend for three days of intense geek love. Here are some personal highlights, including lots of entertaining cosplay AND my first-ever panel...Prometheus!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

A HERRING OF A DIFFERENT COLOR


While Bridget and Andrew suspect that Olivia is the one who ordered the attack at the loft, Siobhan finally breaks Henry - but there's more to Tyler's death than we've been led to believe. Juliet will do anything to escape Catherine's clutches, and Machado's intellect finally kicks in. 

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

THE NECESSARY EVIL


Bridget searches for the mysteriously vanished Malcolm, Andrew and Olivia race to find Tyler's incriminating flash drive, Juliet finds herself in more scheme-related danger, and Siobhan finally levels with Henry. No, really!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

YOU SLAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY



As staggering as it may be to comprehend, Buffy the Vampire Slayer is 15 years old today! On March 10th 1997, Sarah Michelle Gellar made her daring debut as Kristy Swanson's replacement upgrade for the TV version of the silly cult film from 5 years prior. 


The WB was still a young network, under the wise-beyond-his-years leadership of Michigan J. Frog. Premiering at midseason, it seemed like a series that was destined to fail. But even after a rocky first season, Buffy would soon begin the climb towards cultural phenomenon - thanks to creator Joss Whedon's quirky vision, and a cast that grew into their characters right before the audience's eyes. 

A very happy birthday to Buffy, Willow, Xander, Angel, Cordelia and Giles! And Harmony, too. "Welcome to the Hellmouth" has truly become a classic television pilot. There isn't much of Whedon in the 1992 film, but these 44 minutes (88 if you count "The Harvest") are 100% Joss. And if you've still never seen Buffy's beginning? Well, I only have one thing to say to you, in the immortal words of Cordelia Chase herself:



Tuesday, March 6, 2012

THE BALLAD OF SHAYLENE BRIGGS


Amidst the imminent collapse of Martin/Charles Financial, Bridget reels from the revelation of Andrew's secrets - and fears for her safety. We learn the tragic backstory of one Agent Machado in flashback, and Siobhan continues to act like a total bitch here in the present.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

NO REST FOR THE WICKED


The fine line between who's scamming who is blurred even further on this week's Ringer. Wedding plans, corporate espionage, twice the baby drama, and Mr. C in a towel all make for a fast-paced episode...and don't forget about Xerxes!

Monday, February 27, 2012

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE


After being demoted to guest star and essentially written off the show, Trevor Donovan brings the sexy (and gay) back to 90210 this Spring. Rejoice, and let the wild speculation begin!