Saturday, May 28, 2011

WEHO AD WATCH: 05.28.11

Take a hungover stroll around West Hollywood's ad landscape for the best finds during this gorgeous Memorial Day weekend. Stay hydrated, folks.

Summer's right around the corner, and public advertising is just what any good company needs to move their product. And sex. Don't forget about sex. Time for another edition of WeHo Ad Watch! Click all images to make 'em bigger.


A water polo team transforms into a 10-man sea serpent kill squad, thanks to AussieBum! Amazingly, this may be more realistic than their last billboard here.


Absolutely NO responsibility required, whatsoever! I hope it has a cocktail cup-holder.


Quit it, you whores!


"Journey into a magical world of horses." Nobody wants Uranus.

Hope you're all enjoying this extended-play weekend! I kicked off the party hard last night at The Abbey and The Factory, so now the relaxation/recovery begins. Enjoy the sunshine and get into some trouble!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

PLANET OF THE APESHIT

Actress Estella Warren had a bizarre night with the law on Tuesday, and the Planet of the Apes star wanted to be absolutely sure that everyone in Hollywood remembered her name...not just the casting directors. 

"Who?" That was my first reaction to seeing this story over at Vulture this morning. Estella Warren starred in Tim Burton's disastrous Planet of the Apes remake from 2001, which I've spent the last 9 years or so trying to forget. But I think she was starting to sense that everyone felt this way, so - like many starlets before her - it was time to get into some trouble.

In an evening that should prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that working with Helena Bonham Carter can pose a serious risk to your mental health, Ms. Warren must have gone on one hell of a bender. Because while most of America was watching the Glee or American Idol season finales, Estella accomplished the following:
  • Got Drunk 
  • Drove into 3 (three) cars 
  • Fled the scene 
  • Resisted arrest by kicking a cop 
  • Slipped out of handcuffs 
  • Made a break for the back door of a police station

By the time she was finally safely in custody, her charges were expanded from a DUI to felony escape. I hear they didn't even let her take a topless mugshot, which would have fit right in with the rest of her Google Image Search listings.

But at the end of the day, girl's kinda my hero! This kind of crazy streak was so insane, I half-expected to find out that her trunk was full of live chinchillas she had kidnapped from the LA Zoo. Here's hoping Helena or Tim posted her bail...something tells me it may not have been her now-beleaguered publicist.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

YOUNG HOLLYWOOD LOVIN'

Not only do the Young Hollywood Awards mercifully redefine what is considered youthful, but in 2011 they introduced us to the newest imaginary power couple on the block - Garrett Hedlund & Armie Hammer.

90210 and Glee stars Trevor Donovan and Cory Monteith - known singularly here on the blog as "TrevCor" - better watch their backs. Before even the last of the season finales air on network TV, a higher-profile imaginary power couple from the big screen is looking to take their place!

TRON: Legacy star Garrett Hedlund (swoon) and The Social Network's Armie Hammer (thanks, technology, for making two of him) stepped out to the Young Hollywood Awards at Club Nokia here in LA last Friday. And they certainly did make a splash.

Aren't they the most adorable pair you've ever seen? Armie looks like he's about to hoist GarrHeds in his arms and whisk him away to the nearby Ritz Carlton for an evening of celebration (on 400 thread count linens). 

I didn't think that Mr. Hedlund could outdo himself...until I realized that all it took was someone equally as fucking hot to wrap their arms around him while wearing a perfectly tailored Burberry suit. If this isn't heaven, I don't know what is. Oh, right...

Congratulations to Armie for picking up the "Male Star of Tomorrow" award! And especially for picking it up and attempting to deep throat it. Garrett himself was honored with the "Film Actor of the Year" award, which - as much as I love him - feels like maybe the judges didn't see many movies this year. 

Either way, winners always win. And my new obsession - heretofore known as H-Squared - have without a doubt won the top prize in my heartloins. Your move, TrevDon!

Monday, May 23, 2011

THERE'S NO 'K' IN CLASSY

They're America's First Family of Extreme Over-Sharers, and the Kardashians now seemingly exist only for the consumption of the masses. And evidently, even themselves. 

I'm always one to defend the Kardashians. The family of pseudo-celebrities turned media "moguls" struck me as harmlessly entertaining, even when their moments of actual self-awareness were few on far between on their original E! reality series Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Kim, Khloe, Kourtney, Kendall, Kylie...and Rob. I've always had a sweet spot for the lone son of the clan, always getting bossed around by his larger-than-life sisters. So nice. So hot. His tweets are mostly incoherent, but when he gets fucked up the good shit really comes out:


It's this kind of astounding confidence in the midst of utter irrelevance that makes him a Kardashian to the core, which is ironically also why I'm willing to give him a pass. And because...yeah, thanks. 

Sister Kimmie K took to Twitter moments later though, ready to pass her own signature brand of judgment (it's available at Sears):


I love you KK, but it took me less than 30 seconds of reviewing your tweets to find something that immediately made me cringe:

"Also try 'Pot/Kettle Black' available exclusively at Walgreens!"

Kim is quick to forget the embarrassing situations in Rob's life that she herself orchestrated. It's not so much a fact as it is a way of life for the Kardashian women.

Like when they wanted him to become an underwear model! It was a glorious episode, but became retroactively heartbreaking when he would later decide that he wanted to model internationally - and his family all tell him no

The poor thing. He just wants some attention! Specifically, to his crotch. But it's not all misery. The universe has thrown him a bone it seems, as no one else even needs to be there.


UPDATE: Apparently the initial tweets in question were not actually from Rob, but rather from his sister Khloe posing as him. Because that's totally normal. 

Sunday, May 22, 2011

SEA THIS SPACE

The Happiest Place on Earth is preparing to open two landmark attractions - "Star Tours: The Adventures Continue" and "The Little Mermaid ~ Ariel's Undersea Adventure". After sneak preview rides on both, it's clear that the Disneyland Resort is ready for a spectacular Summer.

While it's hard to believe that Spring is almost behind us, the anticipation for Summer just got kicked up a couple more notches. On June 3rd, Disney will be holding grand opening ceremonies for its next two great attractions. I had the privilege of attending special previews of both yesterday, and my expectations were MORE than exceeded.

At Disneyland proper, Star Tours emerges from a long slumber - with a massive technological/creative refresh - as Star Tours: The Adventures Continue. No longer will we be teased with the promise of a visit to Endor, only to end up destroying the Death Star. 

The brand new experience still utilizes the motion simulator technology, but now boasts a most impressive upgrade to the 20+ year old system. There are also a variety of new "destinations" - now presented in pristine 3D - along with favorite characters from the Star Wars universe and more excitement than you can shake a Tusken Raider's stick at. 

But the best part? It's not the same ride over and over again. To be precise, there are 54 different variations of the ride for you to experience - the beginning, middle and end of your flight are picked at random by the computer - so you're almost always assured to have a different flight on Star Tours!

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Of course, sometimes there are some similarities. The first time we rode we were detained by Stormtroopers, went to Hoth (my favorite!), got a transmission from Yoda, and ended up on Naboo. The second time was almost identical, except the transmission came from Princess Leia ("Help me, Star Tours - you're my only hope"). 

But the third time around, we were attacked by Darth Vader (who uses the Force to throw your Starspeeder!), went to Tatooine for some pod-racing, got a transmission from Yoda and ended up fleeing from Boba Fett / destroying the under-construction Death Star. There are so many references and inside jokes in nearly every scene, it's a Star Wars and Disney enthusiast's dream come true. 

Across the esplanade at Disney California Adventure, guests will board giant, brightly-colored clam shell vehicles at The Little Mermaid ~ Ariel's Undersea Adventure for an amazing journey through the classic story. Featuring the iconic songs like "Part of Your World", "Kiss the Girl" and of course "Under the Sea", this attraction is loaded with highly-detailed audio animatronic figures that have to be seen to be believed...Ursula the Sea Witch, especially! Creepy but amazing.

Since our "underwater" journey was during a special Cast Member preview, they were incredibly strict about no photography. But taking pictures was the last thing on my mind. There are details literally everywhere. The first time we rode, I was just letting the magic sink in. The second time my eyes were darting all around, trying to catch a glimpse of smaller touches I missed originally.

While the ride system may not be nearly as technologically sophisticated as Star Tours, TLM~AUA does represent the new era of Disney California Adventure. From the popcorn lighting on the show building to the sea shells embedded into the pavement surrounding the attraction and in the queue, the attention to detail is extraordinary. Once it opens, the re-theming of Paradise Pier will be nearly complete. This part of the park that was at one time the least aesthetically-pleasing will soon be the most opulent. 

So if singing mermaids or intergalactic space travel are your thing, you'll swear Christmas has come early this year at the Disneyland Resort. Star Tours: The Adventures Continue and The Little Mermaid ~ Ariel's Undersea Adventure open officially on June 3rd, and will no doubt be entertaining guests both young and old for many years to come.

The Disneyland Resort

Monday, May 16, 2011

MIX-N-MASH MONDAYS: 05.16.11

It may be another Monday, but that's no reason to let your outlook be gloomy. This week's free download comes from artist Mr. Little Pants!

The name may say 'little' but this track is anything but. "Rescue Song" comes to you remixed by the fine folks of RAC, and the end result is a dreamy, ethereal slow jam that had me hooked from my first listen. Hear for yourself:

Rescue Song (RAC Remix)
Mr. Little Pants

Thanks once again to the gang at RCRD LBL for making so many amazing new tunes available - and at no cost. All you have to do to get your hands on them is create a free account. No strings.

Here's hoping everyone's week is off to a spectacular start!

Friday, May 13, 2011

HOMECOMING QUEEN

With Ringer now poised for pickup by The CW, Sarah Michelle Gellar returns to television on the network that made her a star. The game is sure to change.

This Fall, the prodigal daughter returns. In a surprise twist, Sarah Michelle Gellar is taking back the small screen not at CBS, but instead at The CW. Her series Ringer (which she also executive produces) has been tapped by newly-appointed president Mark Pedowitz for the C-Dubs' Fall schedule, which will bring her back home in a sense to where Buffy the Vampire Slayer aired for seven seasons (5 on The WB, 2 on UPN). 

I for one could not be happier about this news. I never quite saw her fitting in at CBS with the likes of Marg Helgenberger, anyway. The deal will also prove to be mutually beneficial: Ringer now gets to remain serialized (a dirty word at CBS), and The CW gets a significant amount of star power with SMG returning to the fold. 

As far as I can see, the only real downside here is that returning shows like my beloved Gossip Girl and 90210 may find themselves fighting for visibility, as The CW will surely back Gellar's return with the full might of their promo department. In other words...it's gonna get really Sarah-centric soon!

Here's hoping GG and BevNiner are ready for their final seasons come September, because soon the landscape of the little merged network that could is about to change. Will Ringer transform The CW into something more than teen/genre central? While I love my trashy TV, the C-Dubs has an amazing opportunity for re-branding now. I'm really looking forward to seeing how this all unfolds in the coming months. 

So congratulations, Sarah! It'll be nice to see you ruling the airwaves again, and especially with such an intriguing series (Twins! The Hamptons! The Native American mob!). Thanks for bringing Nestor Carbonell and Ioan Gruffudd with you, too. They may be The CW's oldest series regulars, but they're still damn fine.

Get ready, America. The once and future Buffy Summers is getting ready for her long-awaited and much-deserved close-up. It's time to whip these starlets into shape!

Monday, May 9, 2011

SUCCESS FOR THE UES

With two series regulars not returning for season five, there's definitely an air of peace in the Upper East Side for longtime Gossip Girl fans. Say goodbye by celebrating the best...of the worst.

When Michael Ausiello over at TV Line broke the story tonight that Gossip Girl series regulars Jessica Szohr and Taylor Momsen - both mainstays of the show since its first season - would not be returning for the upcoming fifth season, it was more than just entertainment news. It was a dream come true.

It's hard to even describe the level of disdain I have for the characters of Jenny Humphrey and Vanessa Abrams. Is one worse than the other? Well, one started out cute...and progressively became the most heinous, defiant gutter monkey that The CW had ever seen (not counting whatever goes on over at America's Next Top Model). And the other has been unanimously reviled since her very first appearance early in season one, only getting cumulatively more awful as the years go by. It's a tough call.

She went from crawling in Dan's upper-story window to drugging Serena at a masked ball - and Vanessa has been a judgmental bitch about everything in between. Please enjoy some of V's Greatest Looks:







By the time she was teaming up with Vanessa earlier this season, Little Jenny Humphrey had gone from perky teen to raccoon-eyed drug mule. Although I am a little sad that J's character will never be redeemed (and de-uglified), that bitch Taylor Momsen has made it abundantly clear that she's way above learning lines for money.

I kind of hope that in real life, Leighton Meester is taking just as much pleasure in this news as Blair Waldorf would (and I am). The plot-wasting, misery-loving, blind fashionistas have been vanquished! Now Serena just needs to ruin her creepy, pig-faced cousin Charlie's life, and the show can have a victory lap with the real cast before ending next season. Deal?

xoxo
J

Sunday, May 8, 2011

PRINT LIVES ON

Free Comic Book Day comes but once a year, so it's reason to celebrate. At Meltdown Comics, the fun also means Muppets and food trucks - along with a fun mix of titles and events.

The first Saturday of every May, comics book shops across the country celebrate "Free Comic Book Day". It's a pretty nifty way of getting the word out about new/smaller titles, and a great excuse to have a big nerd party.

This year I went to Meltdown Comics on Sunset, because my friend Josh was working for the publisher Archaia at the festivities. There were a handful of artists signing in the store, and something pretty awesome in the back gallery. 

Click to make 'em bigger!
Behold, Skeksis! These are the actual puppets used in Jim Henson's The Dark Crystal. One of Archaia's free titles was a prequel one-shot to the 1982 fantasy extravaganza, so LA Henson/Muppet fans definitely scored big this year!

And speaking of scoring big...ZOMG The Grilled Cheese Truck was there! They were set up in Meltdown's parking lot in back, and the Cheesy Mac & Rib sandwich was a heavenly delight (without onions), as always. The line was long but the crew was super friendly. Thanks, gang!


As for my take - I was psyched to learn a couple months ago that one of my favorite comics was going to be featured this year. Owly! He's the first story in Top Shelf's Kids Club issue, and it's adorable/sweet/perfect. I also got my hands on a CIVIL WAR ADVENTURE COMIC and Pep Comics' Archie title, with hopes of seeing some of Riverdale gay Kevin Keller.

All in all, a great time! There was even a kid in front of me in line (above) who seriously must have stepped out of a time machine from 1986. Braces, sweatpants, velcro shoes and an AstroCamp shirt. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Free Comic Book Day 2011 was awesome possum!

Meltdown Comics & Collectibles
Archaia Comics
The Grilled Cheese Truck

Friday, May 6, 2011

HAUNTED LEOTARDS


Oh snap, you guys! The internet is amazing. 

I've been grooving pretty hard lately to Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti, especially the song "Round and Round". My first instinct was to see if there was a video for it, and that's when I turned down one of those strangely-lit YouTube alleys.

There is no official video from the band. But there are a few unofficial "fan" videos. And like magic, there it was. Something I loved for a few weeks combined with the most exciting thing I had seen in the last 20 minutes. Prepare yourself.


So apparently there's a 1985 movie called Perfect. And it's about aerobics. And it stars Jamie Lee Curtis and John Travolta. I am SO mad at anyone I know that has seen or heard of this movie and not told me. One tagline: "Where love is a dance and beauty is everything." What?!?! Aaaand [breathe]. It just so happens that some amazing soul decided to pair APHG's "Round and Round" with the sights and gyrations of Perfect:



Would you just LOOK at that? Jamie Lee Curtis is practically screaming "It's a vagina! I'm not a hermaphrodite!" in every scene. And John Travolta is screaming the opposite of that. Wowzers.


Happy Friday, y'all! I hope this hidden treasure has gotten your heart rate going as we head into the weekend. Thor opens today, and I'll be seeing it in IMAX 3D on Sunday. Still not sure how I feel about Marvel's Avengers slate, but at the very least it looks like Chris Hemsworth Arm Porn. TGIF, for serious!