Monday, January 31, 2011

MIX-N-MASH MONDAYS: 01.31.11



The first month of a brand new year is almost behind us, gang! I won't ask how many of you kept your New Year's Resolutions (that was a really long time ago), but I will offer up some more bitchin' tunes.

I'll give you this disclaimer right off the bat: this week's entry is neither a remix or a mash-up. Yes, that means it technically has no place in this time slot - but I'm the boss. If I had interns, I would describe to you in detail the big fight I had with them over this...but I don't. So deal with it. The good news is that this track is delicious all on its own merits!

Australian house duo Bag Raiders - DJs Chris Stracey & Jack Glass - have collaborated with Dan Black (go watch the video for "Symphonies") to bring us a dance-pop treat, appropriately titled "Sunlight":


Sunlight (featuring Dan Black)
Bag Raiders
Download Now

And to make up for my deception, I present to you a video olive branch - my favorite song from Robyn's album Body Talk mashed up with the lead single from diminutive pop goddess Kylie Minogue's latest, Aphrodite. Here's "Stars 4-Ever vs. All The Lovers":


Here's hoping your week is off to a good start, and your month is reaching a happy ending. See you in February!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY



Having one of those days? Life got you down? I'm here to help. For starters, bookmark this post - you'll most likely want to revisit it.

I've never watched Matthew Bomer's show White Collar. For starters it's from USA, the network that made Piper Perabo a Golden Globe award nominee. But mostly, it just doesn't look very interesting. EXCEPT for when MattyBomes appears without clothing.

What's that you say? It happens all the damn time? Well thank gods we live in 2011, where The Internet© makes it possible to ogle Cable-TV stars without having to watch their shows. Go ahead and play this video on mute (I've yet to listen to it with sound) and let your current problems fade into soft-focus utopia:



Enjoy the rest of your Hump Day, folks! See you real soon.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

CRUSHING THE SILENTS


I'm volunteering for Cinefamily at the Silent Movie Theatre now, because I really wanted to get involved. My weekly shift is during "Silent Movie Wednesdays", so I'm also looking at it as a free education - I don't have to pay, and neither do they.

When I was a kid my Dad used to say that he wanted to buy an old theater and have my friends and I run it, showing what we wanted. I feel like Cinefamily is the realization of that concept...but with adults. It's a great organization with some really bitchin' programming. You should check them out if you're not familiar!


Anyhoo, last night I watched my first silent movie! The legendary Rudolph Valentino starred in The Son of the Sheik, which was his last film, released after his death in 1926. It was a dual role for Valentino, who not only played the title role but that of his own father (a role reprised from The Sheik). It was way funnier than I was expecting, and at 108 minutes - the perfect length. What made it even more fun was the amazing live pianist providing the film's music. Perfect!


Now, having seen his mausoleum at the Hollywood Forever cemetery, I feel a little weird saying this...but Valentino was kinda hot. I mean, I didn't think anyone had arms like that in the 20s. After the show an older gay told me I looked like "a young Rudy Valentino". I'll take the compliment, pops - but you're not getting in my pants.

Definitely looking forward to my shift next week - the feature will be Buster Keaton's Sherlock, Jr. with a live jazz band accompaniment!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

GET OUTTA MY DREAMS


...AND INTO MY BLOODSTREAM

Earlier this week, Starbucks announced that they would be continuing their puzzling tradition of making up drink sizes we've never heard of. Beginning on February 1st, "Venti" no longer means "The Biggest One You Have" - that will soon be "Trenta". 31 ounces of iced tea? I couldn't be happier!

My addiction to the Bux's black iced tea is well-documented. It's not uncommon for me to now consume up to 5 Venti iced teas in a single afternoon during the weekend - I just have to be sure to eat something before I start drinking, or I will puke. There's a very strange parallel to alcohol at work here.

This announcement comes hot on the heels of the Seattle-based caffeine pushers' recent branding overhaul (above), which should be rolling out soon. Personally, I'm rather fond of the streamlined, logo-only decision. After all, most human beings know what company that dual-tailed naked mermaid queen works for by now. Kudos for simplicity.

There are some people who can't help but draw a connection between drink sizes and morbid obesity. My message to these folks: Focus your efforts on destroying the McRib, once and for all. Bring the recipe to Mount Doom, throw it in, call it a day!


And to my fellow iced tea enthusiasts: We're on the brink of a brave new world! Bring on the Trenta, Starbucks. I may be caffeine's bitch, but I'd much rather look like this lady than be asleep at my desk.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

SING FOR YOUR SWAG



There's so much right, wrong and confusing about this photo - and I love it for all of these reasons. It's LOST's Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) in the Golden Globes Gift Lounge. With the Fancy Feast cat.

According to Jarett over at PopWrap, celebrities are now made to jump through hoops before they can score all the free stuff. Although as hoop-jumping goes, photo opps are relatively painless. And sometimes you even get to pose with a celebrity feline!

Although unless Fancy Feast is actually a subsidiary of Mittelos Bioscience, I'd be willing to wager that it's not the Fancy Feast cat, from this classic commercial:


In any case, I had an excuse to post a funny picture of a former LOSTie and a ridiculous/old advertisement! I say it's a good day.

Monday, January 17, 2011

MIX-N-MASH MONDAYS: 01.17.11



Mix-N-Mash Mondays return for 2011! And even though the years are moving forward, it never hurts to bring a bit of the past with us. That's precisely what today's entry's remixers have done, with one of the most frequently-sampled songs in pop history.

Even if the name of the Tom Tom Club track "Genius of Love" doesn't ring a bell, the hook sure will. Vulture ran an interview with Chris Frantz of TTC just last week, as the song celebrates its 30th anniversary. Today's bass-thumping, electronic-disco remix from the Barcelona-based pop trio The Pinker Tones is the worthiest update I've heard in years:


Genius of Love (The Pinker Tones Remix)
Tom Tom Club
Download Now

While some classic songs get remixed to death, it's pretty amazing that Tom Tom Club's unstoppable 1981 single manages to stay relevant through the years, defying genre definition while continuing to keep us dancing. Happy Monday!

Sunday, January 16, 2011

CINEMA VERITEEN



Happy Golden Globes Day, everyone! The booze-soaked awards show begins in just a few hours here in Los Angeles, where we've been treated to Summer in January this weekend. Of all the nominees I'm looking forward to seeing, I have to say that Ms. Emma Stone may very well be at the top of my list.

Despite the fact that she doesn't stand a snowball's chance in hell up against Annette Bening (The Kids Are All Right), Anne Hathaway (Love and Other Drugs), Angelina Jolie (The Tourist) and Julianne Moore (The Kids Are All Right) for Best Actress in a Motion Picture Musical or Comedy - I still think that she truly gave a breakout performance in Easy A.


Easy A (2010)

The film also proves to be the next evolutionary step of "Bitch Comedy" - a genre that I've totally made up but love nonetheless. Alumni include (working backwards):


Mean Girls (2004)
"I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him!"


Clueless (1995)
"I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies'."

Heathers (1989)
"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?"

All the luck in the world to Emma this evening! Not that she has particularly bad luck, seeing as her current gig is playing opposite Andrew Garfield in the Spider-Man reboot. But whether she takes home the award tonight or no, she's most certainly paving the way for a strong career as an actress and comedienne. Do it, Stone!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

ABBEY NORMAL


When you start out as a coffee shop and eventually become a corporate-owned mega bar, you have plenty of opportunities along the way to piss people off. Case in point: The Abbey.

Began small, grew over the years, and is now owned and operated by SBE -
"a Los Angeles based luxury hospitality, real estate development and lifestyle company" which includes hotel, restaurant, nightlife and real estate divisions.


I'll always have a nostalgic love for West Hollywood's own "Best Gay Bar in the World", as my underage ass used to sneak in for caramel apple martinis when I first moved to LA. The decor is nice, it's big and there's a bar station no matter which direction you turn. But as you might be able to gather from the video above...things have changed.

Now I'm not saying I want to enforce some kind of He-Man-Woman-Haters-Club policy when it comes to gay bars. Ladies play a multifaceted role in the gay bar ecosystem. However the ratio of women to men should always be properly controlled. It gets stupid crowded during the weekend regardless, and I don't want my overpriced cocktail garnished with a twist of vagina. Elizabeth Taylor's presence is the obvious exception.


But here's the bottom line: I'm a big believer that if you don't like a place, just don't go there. It's that simple. It's not as if we live in the middle of nowhere - there are several bars and clubs in the area in which I've rarely if ever seen a (real) woman. So while I still appreciate the atmosphere of The Abbey (stay classy, WeHo), it must be enjoyed as part of a well-balanced bar crawl. That is all.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

CHEESE WE CAN BELIEVE IN



Once upon a time in the 70s and 80s, there was a magical realm known as McDonaldland. It was ruled by a benevolent yet bumbling politician with a penchant for purple and yellow, and his name was Mayor McCheese. He was impeached from office in 1985, when evidently the people of McDonaldland decided that they:

a) Didn't need a local government
b) Wanted a Clown Dictator

Well thanks to the limitless wonder of The Internet©, it appears that the honorable Mayor McCheese may be making a play for the kingdom once again. Behold!

BRINGBACKTHEMAYOR.COM

The good folks behind the campaign have a pretty simple, 3-step strategy to achieve their goal:

"We are fans of their [McDonald's] restaurants and advertising history who want to see a return of a magical advertising icon of our childhood to TV commercials and print advertising."

So what the hell are you waiting for? Sign the petition, spread the message on Twitter, and "join the movement" on Facebook.

I've always loved this guy (I have a Mayor McCheese bobble head on my desk), and in these crazy times we live in...these are politics I can get behind.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

RAISE MY AWARENESS


I've been waiting to update the blog for 2011 until something really exciting happened. Does the first gratuitous male celebrity photo shoot count? SEE ABOVE. Yeah, it counts.

Maroon 5 front man and overall hot piece of ass Adam Levine can now add philanthropist to his list of titles - he's helping us all ring in the new year by stripping down in the name of "cancer awareness". I mean...I wasn't exactly in the dark on cancer before, but this is easily the best piece of edu-tainment I've seen in years.


All that, and I was already a Maroon 5 fan. Also - if you don't follow Adam Levine on Twitter, I highly recommend that you do so. If these photos aren't enough to convince you, let one of his tweets from today sink in to your imagination:

Sigh. 2,011 thanks to Mr. Levine for using his remarkable body for a good cause. Not to mention his face. That smile in the first photo is almost too much for me to handle. Gonna go blow into a paper bag now! 2011 is just getting started.