Tuesday, November 8, 2011


She may be free of a fake baby, but Bridget has to watch her step when the gang's (almost) all converging on Manhattan. Juliet is brutally rebuffed by her teacher, and Malcolm takes refuge in the worst place possible. Meanwhile in Paris - pretty, stupid Tyler inadvertently sets Siobhan on a collision course for New York.

The show is definitely settling in to its soap noir-pra identity of suspense, twists and turns, and tonight's episode was no exception. The element of surprise (for both the characters and the audience) has really increased exponentially in the last few weeks, and I'm very glad to see all the pieces falling into place for an epic midseason finale before we break 'til Spring.

Bridget learns that OOPS! She must have had a miscarriage. She's secretly relieved, but Andrew is not-so-secretly crushed. This frees up Bridget's schedule to check on Malcolm, who's still [insert street euphemism for being fucked up on heroin]. Agent Machado uses the full power of his guyliner and the Federal Government to basically blackmail "Siobhan" into wearing a wire, with the intention of getting him to give up "Bridget's" location. But our favorite ex-stripper uses some of her old school manipulations to win back the upper hand. 

Also, The Chronicles of Cora & Tyler return this week! Siobhan rejects the FINALLY SHIRTLESS Tyler's offer to go to Rome with him on the company's dime, but it doesn't matter since he ends up rerouted to New York when Andrew calls to give him an enormous promotion. When Bridget shows up to the business celebration dinner, Tyler assumes it's his "high maintenance" girlfriend Cora (buddy, you have NO idea), and conveys with his eyes that he wants to punch her right in the goddamn face. 

So what's the deal by episode's end? Bridget has shipped Malcolm off to live with Evil Charlie, who will presumably torture him to some vague outcome. Like a good Bro Henchman. Tyler calls Siobhan to tell her off and send her packing from their Parisian stronghold. And I'll hit Juliet's b-story after the photocap!


Finally, please to enjoy a sampling of Justin Bruening's towelclad finest. Click the photo below to make it a LOT bigger:

The writers clearly took what I had to say about Juliet last week to heart, because she seems to have come down on the side of "bitchy for the forces of good". And she was total supporto-gal when she thought her stepmom just had a miscarriage. Things at PS-2011 are still rough, with Tessa The Teenage Tormenter continuing to be enraged by the fact that Juliet wears nice clothing. Mr. C says he'll "take care of it" (hot) but just ends up transferring Juliet out of his class to hide his giant teacher boner (not).

At times I feel like I'm watching a completely different, 100% CW-manufactured show with Juliet's little vignettes
. I never watched Dawson's Creek on the regular, but I know that the whole teacher-student sex thing was their big scandal back in the 90s. Teen tropes are fine, but they need to 'Serena Van der Woodsen' Juliet up a little. Remember that time Serena tried her hand at high stakes poker? 

The cataclysmic event that is Siobhan's return to New York seems like a midseason finale moment, but Ringer has proven week after week that it's on a more efficient schedule...so it could even be as early as next week. Or not. Either way I'm ready for TWIN BATTLE!

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