Tuesday, October 4, 2011

BIRTHDAY BEATDOWN


We all knew Bridget's deception couldn't last forever, and after three episodes of setup it's time for the truth to start bubbling over...from every angle. Welcome back to your weekly guide to telling Bridget and Siobhan apart!


Oh. Hell. YES! We've reached a critical point of no return in this week's Ringer, with Bridget's fake life as Siobhan beginning to crumble around her. Couplesaurus (Henry & Guh-emma) destroy a vase as well as an entire birthday weekend, in an episode that begins inside Bridget's tortured psyche and ends with numerous bitch slaps both metaphorical and literal. Meanwhile in Culver City Paris, Siobhan turns on her sexspionage charm in order to swipe...wire transfer documents from Tyler? Yeah. Let's get down to brass tacks.



You're certainly  Siobhan  if...
  • You HATE being poor
  • Instead of handing something to someone, you throw it on the ground in front of them
  • You use baby talk to sexily distract your married lover from reading his terrible manuscript out loud
  • You think that your vampiress jumpsuits really DO have a place in broad daylight


You're positively  Bridget  if...
  • Your dream sequences begin with hip establishing shots of New York City, and end with GHOST SIOBHAN
  • You give speeches in Secret Third Person as a means to confess your indeterminate-yet-unforgivable sins
  • You burn incredibly incriminating evidence in a beach bonfire, out in the open, at dusk, while an FBI agent is in town looking specifically for you
  • You're the most surprised (ex) stripper ever to get slapped



"It's Gonna Kill Me, But I'll Do It" is easily the best episode to date, and if it's any indication of what's to come...well, I'm going to be a very happy camper. Now that Bridget is finally forced to reveal her big secret to someone, events are being set into motion that cannot be stopped. Siobhan's mystery plan is "back on" after she steals some files from an easy-manipulated Tyler, post-coitus. Guh-emma knows about Siobhan/Henry and Bridget's true identity, while Machado knows about the distress call from the U.S.S. Green Screen and the fact that Fake Siobhan has been in contact with Generic Malcolm (who's not even in this episode). Y'know what? Buffy always had troublesome birthdays, too. 



Next Week on Ringer:
The aftermath of Bridget's confession to Guh-emma. Plus, Juliet returns - presumably having mastered her Wild Things studies in Miami!


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