Sunday, June 5, 2011

GROOVY MUTATIONS

Lessons Learned:
X-Men: First Class Edition

Packed with style and dripping with sex appeal, director Matthew Vaughn goes back to the beginning, plays by the rules and still manages to make his own X-movie. Here's what I gleaned from the 1960s power fest!


1. [PROFESSOR X]
  Charles Xavier used to be such a tool! But admittedly, the kind I would totally hang out with.

2. [MAGNETO]  Michael Fassbender is the sexiest man in the goddamn universe. Clothing seemed to grip his body as if even it was aware of this fact.

3. [MYSTIQUE]  Love who you are - go naked!

4. [BANSHEE]  I'm still able to beam like a giddy child, thanks to seeing my second favorite X-Ginger in action.

5. [HAVOK]  Lucas Till as Alex Summers is the perfect candidate for a reboot of the Marvel Swimsuit Issue.

6. [BEAST]  Don't try to change your Hobbit feet. When it comes to genetic testing, things can always get worse.

7. [SEBASTIAN SHAW]  Linguistically, Kevin Bacon's Nazi German in First Class is way better than his Hairdresser Austrian in Beauty Shop.

8. [EMMA FROST]  January Jones can suck power and vitality from the even the bad-assiest of bad-ass bitches.

9. [AZAZEL]  In this interpretation, BAMF! is just Russian for PLOT DEVICE!

10. 
This is easily the hottest X-Men movie to date. Not to mention the most stylin'.


A worthy successor to Bryan Singer's X2, I'm ready to watch this gang of mutants take on a couple more films. They have to find Jean Grey eventually, right?

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