Wednesday, May 25, 2011

PLANET OF THE APESHIT

Actress Estella Warren had a bizarre night with the law on Tuesday, and the Planet of the Apes star wanted to be absolutely sure that everyone in Hollywood remembered her name...not just the casting directors. 

"Who?" That was my first reaction to seeing this story over at Vulture this morning. Estella Warren starred in Tim Burton's disastrous Planet of the Apes remake from 2001, which I've spent the last 9 years or so trying to forget. But I think she was starting to sense that everyone felt this way, so - like many starlets before her - it was time to get into some trouble.

In an evening that should prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that working with Helena Bonham Carter can pose a serious risk to your mental health, Ms. Warren must have gone on one hell of a bender. Because while most of America was watching the Glee or American Idol season finales, Estella accomplished the following:
  • Got Drunk 
  • Drove into 3 (three) cars 
  • Fled the scene 
  • Resisted arrest by kicking a cop 
  • Slipped out of handcuffs 
  • Made a break for the back door of a police station

By the time she was finally safely in custody, her charges were expanded from a DUI to felony escape. I hear they didn't even let her take a topless mugshot, which would have fit right in with the rest of her Google Image Search listings.

But at the end of the day, girl's kinda my hero! This kind of crazy streak was so insane, I half-expected to find out that her trunk was full of live chinchillas she had kidnapped from the LA Zoo. Here's hoping Helena or Tim posted her bail...something tells me it may not have been her now-beleaguered publicist.

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