Friday, December 30, 2011

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER


Happy December, everyone! What's that? It's almost over? Another year is dunzo? Well, shit. I've been an incredibly busy fellow this month, so please accept my apologies for the total lack of updates since late November. 

The good news is that I've actually been, y'know...doing stuff! Some pretty bitchin' stuff, to boot. This year marked my first Christmas here in California since moving here 11 years ago, and I more than made up for the lack of snow with a whirlwind month.

Here are some highlights...

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

CASUALTIES OF WAR


The mid-season finale finds our cast of characters in deeper than ever, with Bridget losing control of her emotions and Siobhan losing control of her Bro Henchman. Agent Machado makes some headway thanks to an unlikely source, while Juliet will do almost anything to sleep with her teacher. And if you still care about Gemma, your burden may be lifted sooner than later. 

Monday, November 28, 2011

LIFE'S A HAPPY SONG



At long last, a movie worthy of the Muppet name! With writer/executive producer Jason Segel restoring the heart and soul to Kermit & Company, The Muppets uses nostalgia, humor and genuine good vibes to win back the silver screen.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

FOOD: THE HOLIDAY!


Happy Turkey Day, Americans! Our forefathers - armed with big hats, oversized belt buckles and muskets - celebrated the first Thanksgiving way back when, and this strange tradition just kinda stuck.

All of that dark history aside, I'm once again thankful for so much this year. My family and friends are probably the best under the Sun. What's that you say? Everyone says that? Oh. Well, they're wrong. I'm fortunate enough to have people in my life that support my endeavors and keep my insane neuroses in check, all the while providing me with a limitless source of entertainment.

You know what else I'm thankful for? YOU GUYS! Readers. I'm so appreciative and consistently blown away that people have indulged me for so long in doing something I love. To express my gratitude, please to enjoy some gobble-worthy TV favorites:





 


Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Make sure to stay hydrated between naps with some liquor! My review of The Muppets is coming very soon...


Saturday, November 19, 2011

LAST BUT NOT LEAST


Considered a guilty pleasure in its earlier seasons, Gossip Girl now holds a more infamous distinction...that of the lowest-rated show on network television. It's a good thing there's still plenty of drama to go around on the Upper East Side, even five years in!

When I first saw the Gossip Girl pilot in 2007, I knew I was watching something special. Since then, I've loyally stuck with the UES gang, as other die-hard fans fell by the wayside. I understood their complaints, but I always knew that GG would creatively pull through. And while I personally think it has, that asshole Nielsen begs to differ.




It pains me to report that based on recent statistics provided by Vulture (whose comprehensive coverage of "The Greatest Show of Our Time" is unsurpassed), Gossip Girl is officially the lowest-rated series on network television. I'm willing to give you that it may not be the most relatable show, but one thing it has always been is ridiculously entertaining.



Serena Van der Woodsen is still the most beautiful, charming idiot in Manhattan. Her half-baked schemes are the stuff of legend, as is her questionable dating history (who falls head over heels in love this much?). Usually always by her side is Blair Waldorf, who remains as intelligent, elitist and unapologetically vicious as Serena is stupid.




This season has been as twisted as ever, with Diana Payne (guest star Elizabeth muh-fuggin' Hurley) pulling the strings of basically the entire cast. Well, except Rufus and Lily. I think the show has finally realized that they're irrelevant. Dan is much less insufferable now that Vanessa & Jenny are gone, but he needs to fix his stupid Jeff Buckley hair pronto. Chuck has surprisingly turned out to be one of the most level-headed of the group these days, and in case you're wondering...no, they still haven't figured out what to do with the sweetly-vacant Nate Archibald. If you need him, he'll be smoking a bowl and nailing cougars. Some things never change.

In summation: If you enjoy camp, fantasy-level drama and privileged people trying to destroy each other - AND you've got a Nielsen box in your home - do me and The CW a favor and tune in Mondays at 8pm. If this is going to end up being the final season, let them go out with a bang!

UPDATE: Vulture talked to executive producer Joshua Safran at GG's 100th episode celebration party, and he says that no one's told him that this would be the final season. The president of Warner Bros. Television would also like there to be at least one more (you don't say!), so there's still time for the Powers That Be to craft a wholly satisfying, mind-blowing season 6 before packing it in. But you should still watch!




Wednesday, November 16, 2011

WHY AREN'T YOU WATCHING...MILLENNIUM?


I LOVE A LOT OF WEIRD MOVIES. And you probably do, too, right? So let me share one with you, bite-size style. Maybe you've seen it, maybe not! I'll provide you with the trailer, and 5 'caps for good measure. My hope is that by the end you'll either want to watch it immediately, or will have experienced MovieTingle™ from revisiting an old favorite. I'd be surprised if you downright hated it, 'cause you're here in the first place. You probably know what to expect. 

Our inaugural film is the sci-fi/time travel/brain-wrinkling classic made from the last gasps of the 80s...

Millennium (1989)










Did you fall in love with the Kris Kristofferson / Cheryl Ladd power couple? Do paradoxes terrify you? Hit the comments and tell me what you think!


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

WHO'S THE BOSS?


Bridget continues to get cozy with Andrew, which doesn't please his manipulative business partner one bit. Malcolm begins to suspect Charlie's motivations...which rightfully makes Bridget as paranoid as Siobhan, who was on antidepressants after lying to her therapist. In Butler news: Gemma's still alive, and the twins are real!

Monday, November 14, 2011

BEAUTY AND THE BLOODLUST


Full of breathtaking vistas and stunning beefcake, Immortals succeeds where its genre competitors failed - in truly captivating the audience. Henry Cavil's physique is appropriately mythological, but it's the combination of idyllic perfection and the ravages of war that makes director Tarsem Singh's film memorable.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

FELT ON FILM


With The Muppets returning to the big screen this Thanksgiving, it's time to revisit their cinematic history. No awkward television specials here - just a most sensational look back on Kermit & Company's six big screen adventures.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A SUPER CONVENIENT TRUTH


She may be free of a fake baby, but Bridget has to watch her step when the gang's (almost) all converging on Manhattan. Juliet is brutally rebuffed by her teacher, and Malcolm takes refuge in the worst place possible. Meanwhile in Paris - pretty, stupid Tyler inadvertently sets Siobhan on a collision course for New York.

Monday, November 7, 2011

THE BLOG SHOW


This weekend I headed to Downtown LA for the first annual BlogWorld & New Media Expo. One of the most highly-specialized trade shows I've ever been to, it was an eye-opening experience with much to see and learn. Here's a quick trip report!


Saturday, November 5, 2011

THE INVINCIBLE 'O'


So this is basically the greatest photograph ever taken.

Aside from the obvious "Oprah is firewalking" aspect, also notice the lunatic expressions on the faces of the 2 women directly behind her. And the...coach? Instructor? Motivational speaker? I just don't know.

What I do know is that this photo is the real deal...The Oprah tweeted it last night.


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

IT'S DIFFERENT WITH TWINS


Under suspicion yet again, Bridget leaks a little truth to Andrew and Henry about her family. Juliet exhibits responsible behavior for the first time, and pays dearly for it. Malcolm trades Wyoming for New York, while Charlie lends a hand. Ringer returns...with more sass, sex and SMG faces!

Monday, October 31, 2011

WITH GHOULISH DELIGHT


HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

It's time once again to call in the spirits, wherever they're at! October has been an action-packed celebration of spooky, all leading up to today. And while I may not be as costume-oriented as I used to be, Halloween will always be my favorite holiday.

Not only does it let me indulge shamelessly in watching as many horror movies as possible in a matter of weeks - see my previous reviews for Fright Night, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, Atrocious, American Horror Story, Paranormal Activity 3 and Showgirls 2 - but I also get to bust out my glittery disco skull and embrace the overall macabre within. 



Last year I introduced the Cauldron of Classics for All Hallow's Eve, with clips from some hall-of-fame TV specials. This year's selections are decidedly more contemporary, but still classics in their own right. See what videos I've scared up for you, followed by a few single-frame movie reviews:


"Making Friends" (2011)
Adorable! Features Sam from Trick 'r Treat.


"Sandra's Halloween Wonderland" (2011)
This special aired on the Food Network recently. Sandra Lee is apparently an alcoholic crazy person.


LMFAO - "Party Rock Anthem"
An amazing Halloween light show from some creative folks in Riverside.


"Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps" (2011)
Jeff & Britta try to decide which of their friends could be a murderer, in Community's third brilliant Halloween installment.

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Ghostbusters (1984)
After all these years, I finally saw Ghostbusters on the big screen! It was well worth the wait, and in this case...bigger IS better (than my TV).


The Masque of the Red Death (1964)
Vincent Price was deliciously diabolical in the film version based on the story by Edgar Allen Poe. 


The Thing (2011)
The prequel to John Carpenter's The Thing was well-made and creepy enough, but still completely unnecessary.


Case 39 (2009)
Renee Zellweger looks bloated and Bradley Cooper takes his shirt off. It's just like every movie either of them have ever made.


Happy Halloween to you all! Don't let a silly little thing like it being Monday ruin your festivities. Have fun, be safe, and enjoy your tricks and treats!


Saturday, October 29, 2011

PENNY'S LAST STAND


After nearly six years in production, Rena Riffel presented her self-financed passion project to the world for the very first time Thursday night. Laemmle's Sunset 5 played host for Showgirls 2: Penny's From Heaven - 152 minutes of dancing, confusion and absolute insanity.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

PARANORMAL PRANKSTERS


Paranormal Activity 3 takes us back to 80s - and big hair isn't the only thing to fear. The directors have a lot more in store, but in a very peculiar case...also a lot less. A whopping eight scenes from PA3's theatrical trailer don't appear in the film itself. Artistic misdirection or a dirty marketing ploy?

Thursday, October 20, 2011

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS


A tribute to the unsung heroine of Saved by the Bell. She's a motorcycle enthusiast, a lover of big hair, and she has the power to disappear without notice. Tori Scott, this one's for you!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

TROUBLE BY THE BAGFUL


The disappearance of Gemma Butler becomes a thing people actually care about - from Bridget, to the NYPD, to Agent Machado. Can Henry be trusted? Can Juliet work her redemptive magic at public school? Welcome back to your weekly guide to the machinations of Bridget and Siobhan!

Monday, October 17, 2011

OUR POWERS COMBINED


AIDS WALK LOS ANGELES
Thank You For Donating!

This year, Los Angeles raised over $3 million for APLA. MILLION! I was shocked when I saw the grand total...it's not a small number. I'm also proud to say that $3,355 of that amount came from Team Zip and a Kick! That's The Stunning Seven pictured above: Myself, Robert, Chris, James, Shaun and Eric.



And since the only thing more fun than walking for charity is drinking for charity, we made our way to Hamburger Mary's afterwards for some post-Walk bottomless mimosas. 

A great big thank you to everyone who sponsored Team Zip and a Kick! - or any walker/team! Your generosity truly makes a difference. Learn more about AIDS Project Los Angeles here. Humanity rules!


Saturday, October 15, 2011

WEHO AD WATCH: 10.15.11


The weather has been unusually warm for mid-October, so it's time to check in once again on the West Hollywood ad landscape with some unconventional marketing.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A HIGHLY EDUCATED OWL


In 1963, Walt Disney introduced us to Archimedes the Owl in The Sword in the Stone. The sassy crank and his "roommate" Merlin would be some of the last characters that Walt would oversee before his death, and they continue to live on in the spirit of bickering homosexuals everywhere.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

THE PRICE OF SILENCE


A desperate Bridget pleads to have her secret kept, but an unhinged Gemma comes to the conclusion that one bad deed deserves...an indecent proposal. And faster than you can say "psychotic break", the game has changed - with a truly shocking twist. Welcome back to your weekly guide to telling Bridget and Siobhan apart!


Monday, October 10, 2011

MIX-N-MASH MONDAYS: 10.10.11


Twenty-One year old Alex Winston brings the handclaps and catchy harmonies with her single "Velvet Elvis" - sure to warm you up on these chilly October mornings, with the touch of RAC. Happy Columbus Day!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

THINGS THAT GO HUMP IN THE NIGHT


Ryan Murphy is aiming to scare us in a whole different way with American Horror Story. The premiere was chock full of homages, but still managed to come across as something new. There are no doubt more chills to come with this week's episode...and with any luck, even more naked Dylan McDermott.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

CLOSED FOR BUSINESS


It may have been far from the best pilot this Fall, but the corseted and cotton-tailed gals from The Playboy Club had potential to prove that although "real", historical accuracy isn't always as fun. As the first cancellation of the season strikes fear into the hearts of low-rated newbies across the network landscape, it's time for a rebuttal.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

BIRTHDAY BEATDOWN


We all knew Bridget's deception couldn't last forever, and after three episodes of setup it's time for the truth to start bubbling over...from every angle. Welcome back to your weekly guide to telling Bridget and Siobhan apart!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

READING RAINBOW


After nearly two years of construction, the brand new West Hollywood Library opened with fanfare this morning. Completing the first phase of the city's 25th Anniversary Capital Project, celebrate the milestone with coverage from the dedication of the 32,000 square foot facility - with special guest speakers, entertainment and more!

Friday, September 30, 2011

A HARD DAY'S BLAINE


HAPPY FRIDAY!

After a crazy week, it's time to kick up your heels and get your hormones racing! I've found myself revisiting (a lot) this Blaine number from Glee's season premiere a couple weeks ago. 

You're a fool not to appreciate the simultaneous dreaminess / cuteness / effing-hotness of Darren Criss in Season 3. Hallelujah, he's out of that ill-fitting Warblers jacket! He's dancing with Santana, and Cheerios in their mid-30s! Click to make 'em bigger.


"It's Not Unusual"...for this number to get my heart thumping.

Those pants. THOSE PANTS.

Zip and a TWIST!
(Look at his stupid adorable little face!)

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Of course I can't just not mention his spectacular performance of "Something's Coming" from West Side Story last week. I mean...wow. And those fucking arms.

TGIF! Get out there and have some fun! It's almost October, you guys! I'm typing excitedly!