RAINDROPS & HANDCLAPS

It's been grey and rainy here in Los Angeles for the past couple days - and admittedly, I couldn't be happier about it. If I can't make it back to New England to see the seasons change from Summer to Fall, I'm glad Mother Nature is at least throwing me a bone in the form of rain. And there's nothing like going to sleep with the sound of rain and waking up the next morning to the same.

To celebrate, I thought I'd share with y'all a fantastic FREE mash-up single I stumbled across, which is entirely appropriate for the current weather system here in SoCal:

Rihanna vs. General Public
"Tender Umbrella"
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Mixed and mashed by Party Ben - easily one of the best in his biz - it takes most of the elements of one of my favorite 80s songs of all time ("Tenderness" by General Public) and combines it with Rihanna's staple "Umbrella". Sure, the latter is a bit dated now...but if you haven't had it blasted at you from all directions for at least a year, it can be nice to revisit it. This is especially true of this version, which takes both songs involved to a superfun, catchy new level.

I hope you find as much enjoyment in this track as I did. If so, check out all of Party Ben's other mash-ups, which are all free and pretty brilliant. And in the meantime...keep the rain coming!

THE FACE OF MAD BRILLIANCE

"Dear Journal,

Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones - breaking my juicer - and then at Cheerios practice...disaster. It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver. That quiver will lose us nationals. And without a championship, I'll lose my endorsements. And without those endorsements...I won't be able to buy my hovercraft.

GLEE CLUB!!!

Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth-breathers, it only comes back stronger - like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I've sacrificed everything - only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy, misshapen teens!

Am I missing something, Journal? Is it me? Of course it's not me. It's WILL SCHUESTER. What is it about him, Journal? Is it the arrogant smirk? Is it the store-bought home perm? You know, Journal, I noticed something yesterday. Of course...it's becoming clear to me now. If I can't destroy the club, I will have to destroy THE MAN!"

And there you have it. One of the most genius monologues I have seen on television in quite some time. Drag queens will be lip-syncing to this for years to come.

Not only does Ryan Murphy deserve to at least be nominated for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series for this episode of Glee (entitled "Vitamin D"), but Jane Lynch deserves pretty much EVERYTHING for her portrayal of Sue Sylvester. All hail the queens!

A PRANCE IN THE PARKS

Lessons Learned:
Gay Days @ Disneyland Edition

1. Apparently this event is actually a form of peaceful political protest. Yeah...I don't really get it, either.

2. You're always going to see people you know, people you *know*, and people you're still trying to remember (or forget) in the first place.

3. Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is no place for children.

4. Elder 'bears' take great offense to the name of the land being changed to 'Critter Country'.

5. Before groping a costumed character, take a moment to consider that it might actually be a woman in there.

6. The longest line in the entire Disneyland Resort is to be seated at the Cove Bar at Disney's California Adventure.

7. There are other options for getting drunk aside from the Cove Bar.

8. Plan your seating arrangements ahead of time. You're going to get felt up on The Haunted Mansion, so make sure it's with someone you'd like to get felt up by.

9. You can't run away from trouble...ain't no place that far.

10. The Muppets' Gonzo and Camilla have been breaking boundaries for marriage equality for decades.