Oh, man. Last night's season finale of LOST was 2 hours of insanity. If you haven't watched yet, or don't want to know what happens (this is a special shout-out for you, James), please consider this your SPOILER WARNING! Keep in mind this isn't a review, just my own highlights reel.
First off, I need to speak my piece about Richard Alpert. We already know that he doesn't age, sure - but as I've been noting throughout the season, he actually gets HOTTER. Ain't no one can hold a torch like Ricardo.
Oh, shit! Jack should totally travel back in time more often. This fact is evidenced by the showdown at the Barracks, where our spinal surgeon actually grows a spine. And what does he do with it? What needs to be done, finally - kill a bunch of Dharma nerds. Come on, you know some of them had it coming.
"Oh hell no..." And with that, we welcome back Rose and Bernard. They're retired from the Island Hijinks racket now, and are happy just to be together. Rose read the gang the riot act, and it was much needed. There's only room for one uppity white person in Rose's life, and it's certainly not Kate. I hope that this is the last time we ever see R&B...it was a touching and perfect wrap-up to their story. Plus: VINCENT THE DOG!
I feel like it's been ages since I've brought up Richard Alpert. Here he is in all his package-gripping-pants glory. If I had to choose one person to trust and listen to on the island, it's him by a landslide. Especially if joining him means that he'll take away my 'innocence'. Someone get this man a torch!
The Hatch! Great to see you, too, Swan. All the major drama aside, here's my beef: Why was Radzinsky allowed to survive the finale? Not cool. That prick should have gotten his several times over. Kudos to Miles for saving his Dad, though.
Dr. Juliet Burke - I thought I knew you. Remember when your soul purpose in life was getting back to the mainland (in the proper year) so you could see your cancer-less sister? Remember that motivation? Contrary to what certain seasons of the show believe, the entire world actually doesn't revolve around Sawyer and Kate. But yeah...you did good. I hope V is a miserable failure so you can come back and announce your lesbianism. Seriously, why does Juliet even bother with men anymore?
We finally got the answer to the Team-Ilana query, "What lies in the shadow of the statue?": Ille qui nos omnes servabit (the Latin-to-English translation is the title of this post, FYI). I can't even delve into the rest of the storylines, though. My brain is still swirling. Right now I feel that I need to watch all of this season over again - paying very close attention to John Locke, in particular. And that Jacob is certainly an interesting fellow...