OBAMA'S HOUSE! It's been a little over 48 hours, and in this time President Barack Obama has outlawed torture, set a closing date for Guantanamo Bay, overturned abortion bans and re-emphasized his commitment to civil rights. I imagine that this was the same amount of time it took George W. Bush to locate all the restroom facilities in the White House.
But wait, there's more! Obama did so while the first daughters were running around the executive residence with the Jonas Brothers during a frakking scavenger hunt. Just give me a photo of Michelle fist-bumping her army of stylists in one of her many walk-in closets and I can die a happy man. Keep up the good work!